A DISPECTFUL HUSBAND

When your husband doesn’t respect you, he will display it through some or all of the following signs and behaviours.

1. He questions your authority to discipline the kids in front of the kids.

Parenting styles will not always be the same for husband and wife because of their upbringing which will have an obvious impact on their preferred parenting styles. A respectful husband will however not question the parenting style of his wife in front of their children. He will wait until he is alone with her and then voices his concerns or misgivings to her.

A disrespectful husband on the other hand will always undermine his wife’s disciplinary authority over the children in front of the children. This will send the wrong message to the children that they too can disrespect mommy. If your husband is in the habit of doing this, then he is disrespectful.

2. He is rude and condescending when he speaks to you (even in front of the children).

Is your husband always mean, rude, and condescending when he speaks to you even in front of your children? Every time he talks to you, he uses a condescending tone that says he thinks he’s better than you. That is not okay. That is definitely a man that has no respect for you or regard for your feelings.

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This is also a form of emotional and psychological abuse that can affect your self-esteem and take a toll on your mental health.

If he still doesn’t change after you take the steps we will list in the next section, you need to leave him. You should not stay in a marriage where you are constantly being talked down to and made to feel like a second-class citizen.

3. He belittles you and makes you feel small and inadequate.

Not only does he speak to you rudely and condescendingly, but he also goes out of his way to say hurtful words that belittle and make you feel small and inadequate. He could say things like “why can’t you ever get anything right”?

He may go as far as putting you down based on your general body appearance and weight when he knows full well that it is an area you still struggle with, especially if you have female insecurity in that area. This is also another form of emotional and psychological abuse that would affect you negatively in the long run.

4. He compares you to other women.

A respectful husband that loves his wife deeply will not do this under any circumstance. He knows that you are unique, special, and different. He also knows it is wrong to be comparing you to any other woman because it’s just plain disrespectful and also very wrong.

If your husband is always making statements like “ why can’t you be like other women”, or “why can’t you be like so and so”, that is unacceptable. He should not expect you to be other people that you are not.

5. He checks out other women in your presence.

This is the height of disrespect a husband can exhibit towards his wife. It is simply wrong for him to be actively checking another woman in your presence or even flirting with her.

6. Intimacy is as good as gone and it feels like you always have to beg him to have sex with you.

Do you feel like a sex-starved woman in your home? This is another sign of disrespect. It also shows your husband doesn’t desire you anymore. This is also a worrying sign of the possibility that he is having an extra-marital affair with another woman.

7. The other side of this is when he wants to have sex even when you’ve made it clear you don’t feel like it.

On the flip side who has the bigot misogynistic disrespectful husband who feels he is entitled to have sex with you whenever he wants to, whether you feel like it or not. Even after you’ve made it clear you don’t feel like sex, he wants to have his way because he does not believe in being told no. This shows clear disrespect for you and your feelings.

Men who do this are usually insecure men who always feel the need to assert their male dominance on a woman.

8. He is not fully engaged when you’re talking with him.

Is he always on his phone when you’re talking with him? Or he’s just distracted by other things like his laptop or the television? That is another sign your husband does not respect you. A husband that respects his wife will give her his full undivided attention when she’s talking with him, and be fully engaged.

9. He fails to spend reasonable quality time with you even when you ask him to.

If he does not make spending time with you a priority anymore even when you’ve voiced the concern, he’s not being respectful of your feelings.

This should not be confused with always expecting your husband to spend every waking minute with you without a break. This latter expectation is being clingy and can be draining since he also needs to get a breather for himself.

Couples need to spend quality time together to grow in love and respect for each other. When he stops doing this even on reasonable requests, have no doubts that he no longer respects you and your feelings.

10. He makes major family decisions without consulting you or seeking your input.

Are you starting to feel like a total stranger and outsider in your marriage because your husband is now making all the decisions without your involvement? It can be really frustrating and annoying too.

11. If he earns more than you, he makes it a point to always rub it in your face.

This is another thing that bigot misogynistic disrespectful husbands do. They want to make their wives feel small and insignificant because of their financial muscles. This is also another form of emotional and psychological abuse that would ultimately affect your self-esteem.

12. He never apologizes when he is wrong and would in fact make it your fault.

Owning up to their faults when they hurt each other is an important element in every intimate relationship if it will last long. And this is no different in a marriage.

The disrespectful husband however does not see things from this perspective. He is disrespectful of his wife and her feelings and so when he is in the wrong, he will be damned if he apologized. He would instead always find a way to make it her fault for what he did.

13. He plays dirty when you have conflicts (like name-calling and using the silent treatment).

A disrespectful husband sees fights and conflicts with his wife as an opportunity to assert and lord his power over her. He would play dirty by using such tactics as calling her names, using something from her past that she told him out of trust, or giving her the silent treatment to drive her crazy. He is always playing with her head when they get into a conflict. This is another classic narcissistic abusive behavior that can ruin the wife mentally and emotionally in the long run.

14. Deliberately ignoring your boundaries.

Everyone, including the disrespectful husband, has their boundaries. Those boundaries do not suddenly disappear when you get married. If you’ve made these boundaries clear to your husband and he still deliberately ignores them and acts contrary to your expressed wishes, then he has no respect for you or your feelings.

15. Dishonesty and lying to you have become his new normal.

Honesty and transparency are two other important pillars and foundations for a healthy and successful marriage. It tells each spouse that they are valued and respected by the other. If you notice that your husband has suddenly become comfortable with being dishonest with you, it is a serious red flag that he no longer has respect for you.

16. He picks up a fight every chance he gets.

Your home suddenly feels like a warzone and minefield. And the worst thing is that you don’t know or understand what triggers his picking a fight. It is starting to feel like just being around you irritates your husband so much that he bites your head at every chance he gets.

This is not only a sign that he is disrespectful of you, but it also shows that there may be other underlying personal issues (such as male depression or a male midlife crisis) he is dealing with which he does not want to open up about. This does not however excuse his disrespectful actions.

17. He’s started being secretive with and around you.

Before, he would not mind you holding his phone or even going through it. But now, it is the exact opposite. Even looking at his phone would be made out as an unforgivable sin. And you are starting to feel like he is being secretive and hiding things from you, and this is most likely the case.

A secretive spouse is disrespectful to their partner because there should be no secrets between spouses in a healthy, loving, and respectful marriage.

18. Only his needs, desires, and priorities count and come first. He never compromises to accommodate your own needs and desires.

Does it feel like you’re the only one compromising and accommodating his needs? And yet, when it is your turn, he would not even extend the same courtesy or indulgence to you? That shows uttermost selfishness and disregard for you and your feelings. A respectful husband will always make compromises for his wife.

19. He is unwilling to help you with anything.

This also goes hand-in-hand with the unwillingness to compromise. A disrespectful husband will always say no to almost every request his wife makes of him to help her. He does not have any regard for her well-being or how she feels even when she is clearly overwhelmed with trying to keep things together at home.