So, given that betrayal is a loss, it is necessary to understand the process of grief in order to deal with having been betrayed. Most often, when people have been betrayed, they have overwhelming emotions which are so intense that they are unable to make any sense out of them. Therefore, if you have been betrayed, you need to understand what these emotions are and why you are experiencing them before you can really take any action.

The theory of grief is that it involves several stages: shock/denial, bargaining, anger, sadness, and acceptance. Frequently these stages may overlap, or one may be experienced more intensely than another, or one might be so short-lived that it didn’t seem that it was part of the experience. However, the most important part of this theory is that it is not possible to reach the final stage of acceptance without

having moved through the prior stages. Sometimes people will get stuck in one of the early stages which prevents them from moving on. It is even conceivable for someone to be stuck in one of these stages for years.

Denial Stage of Grief.  Most commonly people want to avoid the experience of grief because the emotions are so intense. So they will engage in avoidance behaviours. These can be compulsive, addictive behaviours such as abusing drugs or alcohol, over-eating, or gambling. These types of behaviours are escapes from emotions. People also escape emotions in other ways such as obsessive reassurance-seeking, questioning, or dependency. Or people might just avoid the situation altogether and write the other person out of their lives. These are only a few of the most common ways people avoid the grief process.

The Anger Stage of Grief.  A common stage where people become stuck, especially with the issue of betrayal, is in the anger stage. They become so focused on the wrong that was done to them that they never fully experience the other emotions such as the sadness due to the loss of the relationship. Other times, people become stuck in the denial stage by becoming so focused on forgiveness. They are so quick to want to resolve the issue that they deny the full experience of the anger and sadness involved in the loss.

Your brother,
Sir Godfrey Gregg D.Div
Co-Founder of The Mystical Order

Author: Godfrey Gregg