WHEN SHOULD YOU FORGIVE A BETRAYAL?
Many people ask how to know whether or not to forgive and continue with the relationship. I can give you some of the questions to consider for this issue but I can’t give the answers because each person needs to determine for him or herself what is right.
1) First of all, is the behaviour a continuing behaviour or does the person recognize the hurt they have caused and are trying to change the behaviour?
2) Also, does the individual want forgiveness? To want forgiveness the person has to see the behaviour as wrong and not intend to engage in it any further.
3) Was the transgression out of justified anger and the person regretted acting so rashly? Did they learn from this behaviour and are unlikely to do it again?
4) How long have you known the person? Is this typical behaviour or is a single instance?
5) Have you talked to the person and they have accepted responsibility?
6) Was the behaviour intentional or was it related to the loss of an illusion (as described above)?
7) What makes this relationship worth the forgiveness?
8) Do you need to forgive so as to move on in your life without the bitterness? However, this doesn’t mean you have to continue the relationship.
This article only touches on the surface of all the emotions involved with betrayal, grief, and loss. Hopefully, however, it will give you some ideas about putting it into perspective and working through the stages of grief in order to determine what you want to do regarding the betrayal.
Sir Godfrey Gregg D.Div
Co-Founder of The Mystical Order