One moment of betrayal can rock a years-long friendship, leaving both of you feeling disoriented regardless of which side the betrayal came from. Whether you told your best friend’s most intimate secret or it was your trust that was broken, you may now believe there is nothing that can be done to keep the friendship from careening off the cliff side. However, you may be able to save the friendship, provided you want to do so, once you understand the implications of betrayal.
Many times it is not even your friend that cause the betrayal, but they allowed the unknown to get between you and them and there is where the trouble starts. Now the question arises and the implications follows. In many cases it is like a death trap meeting someone on the internet and felt that this is the real deal only to walk into a trap and then you spiral down hill with no help. At that point what are you going to do. It may be too late to turn things around. Look around and consider what you are going up against unless you are blinded by looks of something that is not even real.
Brethren none of us is perfect but consider what you have to loose before you start the journey. My family, friends and the people that surround you daily, your support structure. Something we need everyday of our lives. We may survive on false hope but when that hope fades in oblivion, we are nothing and rather we die. I say it only takes one mistake and you can fall off the cliff spiritually and the way back is very hard.
David was a man after God’s own heart and when the prophet Nathan went to him he tried to cover up his mistakes and sin. God was having none of that with David. Hallelujah, He learnt that sin could not stand in the presence of Almighty God. And when a man will barefacedly show another man dressed as a woman and called him his girlfriend and wife to be; how in the Name of God can anyone calling themselves children of God fellowship with such a one. BETRAYAL which will have spiritual consequences and long term psychological effects for a long time or even the rest of your life.
Where is your discernment? Where is your vision? Are you sure that you are still on the road to the Celestial City or you are stuck in the City of Vanity Fair. My brothers and sisters this morning God is calling you yo hearken unto His voice. It is too late with this message to play the fool and be led into pride of sin. God is saying to you come out from among them and separate yourselves. You cannot be a part of it and serve you God aright. if you cannot stand up with the word of God then don’t stand for nothing. Sin is sin today and will be the same a week afterwards. BETRAYAL not only to a person but to a congregation where lies have become the norm. Don’t be like Judas and walk away with a deaf ear. Remember when everyone walked away from Jesus leaving the twelve disciples. Jesus asked the great question. Will you also go away? To whom Lord ……… God bless and keep you.
THE MEANING OF BROKEN TRUST
No matter which one of you committed the act, the effect is most likely that the importance of your friendship itself has been called into question. From passing along gossip to falling in love with someone you do not know, an act of betrayal indicates that you are willing to fulfill your own immediate lust and interests at the expense of your friend’s interests. Furthermore, such acts can make the wronged party feel insecure, even endangered, as betrayal translates to a form of rejection from someone on whom the betrayed relied for spiritual strength and encouragement, even psychological needs such as belonging, and enlightenment. The thing is the TRUST is already broken and may not be able to repair.
DISENGAGEMENT BY BETRAYAL
While betrayal can take the form of isolated, hurtful acts, it can also take a slow-release form that is equally painful, if not more so: that being disengagement. This process involves one friend pulling back in ways that are not always obvious, such as failing to defend the other friend from insults, according to Psychologist Edward Bailey: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.” This type of betrayal can result in not only feelings of instability, but also self-doubt, as it’s much harder for the betrayed party to name a specific incident that caused the lack of trust.
REPAIRING WITH FORGIVENESS
Before there can be forgiveness, you each have to examine the importance of the friendship. Because betrayal signals a lack of prioritization of the friendship, restoring your bond is more likely if the betrayal was a one-time, instantly regretted slip rather than a pattern or disengagement. Fitness notes that guilt for betrayal is indicative of empathy — the offending party feels bad because the offended party feels bad. Therefore, feeling guilty actually offers hope; it suggests that the friendship is still valued. Forgiveness can be achieved if the offending friend genuinely apologizes, confesses the lesson learned and promises to behave differently in the future. However, it does not have to escalate to that level unless there is more “in the mortar besides the pistle”. There can be a gaping hole when silence takes over and others are ignored. There comes a time when you have to loose a lot in order to save yourself, character, integrity and even your reputation.
LETTING GO OF THE HURT
If one or both of you cannot stomach the idea of mending the friendship after such a betrayal, or if you have realized that a lack of emotional investment was at the heart of the betrayal, you may have to find ways to move forward. It is natural that friends, even best friends, sometimes grow apart as they grow individually. Try to learn a lesson from this experience — perhaps what qualities you need in a confidante or how you can better reinforce friendship bonds next time. Allow yourself to grieve the good memories you had with your best friend, relying on other friends and family members as needed for support.
This is not a jealous situation between friends but can be of the party in the center of this betrayal. You will realize that the truth prevails and in the end there are still people who care and will always care. Situations change with circumstances.